A Good Day

The kids and I had such a good day today. I hate saying that I had a "good day", because it seems to imply that some days are bad. I don't really have "bad" days. Some aren't as good as others, but in general they are all pretty fantastic. Usually the parts that aren't good, have more to do with kids being cranky than me having cancer.

I also hate saying that I'm tired. In my mind saying it means that I am tired and out of energy because of the cancer. When, in reality, sometimes you are just tired out from living life. A few months ago there were lots of times when I was tired due to the cancer, but those times seem to be few and far between now.

I guess where this post is going is that I don't want cancer to dictate what I do, how people think of me or act towards me.

The day after I got diagnosed, the oncology social worker met with us. She told us that at the start it would feel like there is a big neon sign with the word "cancer" flashing over our heads and that as time went on the sign would disappear and that cancer would just be a little package that we sometimes pay attention to. She was right. At the start everything revolved around the big "C". That's all we thought and talked about. What we did during the day was determined by how I was feeling and we never planned past tomorrow. Now, it's just a little annoying thing that we have to deal with from time to time. With the exception of 3 days during each chemo treatment, I feel great and have tons of energy and do what I want to do, not what I "can" do.

When I am with friends or family, cancer is not the main topic of conversation. It comes up sometimes, but there are way more fun and interesting things to discuss. Some days it doesn't come up at all, and I love it! I don't mind talking about it and am definitely not offended if someone asks about it, but I am much more than "someone with cancer".

I obviously just went off on a bit of a tangent. What I intended to write about was what a great day we had. Some family friends are in town visiting and it has been way too long since we have seen them. The kids that my sister and I used to babysit are now teenagers and they played with/looked after Sophie and Liam today. The day ended on a high note as well. As I was getting Sophie ready for bed she looked at me and said, "I had a fun day mommy. I love you". It doesn't get much better than that:)