People are Awesome

Mel's diagnosis last May changed our world completely and I honestly can't fully wrap my head around her passing on Wednesday.  The one thing I know for certain is that people are awesome.  For us it was a terrible situation to be in, but everyone around us made it easy to focus on trying to get Mel better .  I am so grateful to so many people who helped us out over the last year.   Our family has been amazing, and that is all I really need to say about that. On the health care side, we had such positive experiences with every nurse, doctor, tech, therapist, and receptionist we encountered.  It is comforting to know we got the best care possible for Mel.  The community we live in offered such amazing support.  We had people dropping off meals, baking, and countless offers to help with the kids.  I have a few tupperware containers in the drawer that I know we never bought....sorry if you didn't get yours back.  People just wanted to help and do what they could to make things more manageable for us.  One day we came home and found someone had taken down our Christmas lights while we were at an appointment. Even on social media and email we had such tremendous support.  It felt strange posting a blog on Facebook after Mel passed, but I know so many people were concerned and it seemed like an effective way to let all those who cared know.  Both Mel and I had close friends, friends we grew up with, friends we went to university with, people we has lost touch with all reach out with words of support.  I have read all the text message, emails, comments on this blog, and  all the Facebook comments sent my way (and also on Mel's page).  All that support is appreciated. Things didn't work out the way we wanted, but there was a good lesson, that people are awesome.  Thanks.

Will

RIP Melissa

Melissa passed away this afternoon at home.  It was peaceful and quiet.  Thank you everyone for the support.

Will

Bad Turn

When Melissa started this blog her idea was to use it as a way to keep anyone interested, informed on how her treatment was going and also how we were doing as a family.   At the moment she isn't in a condition to write a post, so here goes my attempt at an update. 

Mel’s most recent post detailed how she had been switched to a less aggressive form of treatment.  That was a hard reality for us to face.  We were put in a situation where we just had to stay in the fight as long as possible.  With the best treatments for her cancer not an option, our only hope is that she can survive long enough that a new treatment becomes available, or some medical miracle occurs where the cancer just disappears. At this point neither of those options seems likely.  Mel had a CT scan earlier this week and it showed she has developed blood clots in her lungs.  She was already taking a full dose of blood thinners so that was pretty bad to discover.  Also, there has been a progression in the disease in her liver, not good either.  Additionally she has been having fluid build-up in her stomach which has diminished her appetite and given her bad heart burn when she did feel like eating.  Mel did have the fluid drained on Friday and her doctor increased the dose on her blood thinners so we were hoping to see an improvement in her health.  Unfortunately she has taken a pretty bad turn over the weekend.  She was very drowsy on Friday night, which had been the case in the evenings over the last while, but it just seemed a little worse.  Then when I went to wake her yesterday she was noticeably worse.  Since Friday night she hasn't left our bedroom and has been sleeping most of the time.  She will have short periods when she is lucid, but after a few minutes she just fades off.  I called her doctor and he came by the house to check on her.  At this point with so many problems it is challenging to know for certain what is causing her current state, but most likely she is in liver failure.  There is a chance she may bounce back from this, but there is also the chance she may not.  We talked with her doctor about how we wanted to handle the situation including where Mel wanted to pass.  Mel decided she wanted to stay at home as long as possible, so this is where we stay.  It is impossible to predict what the next few days will hold for us, but I know Mel will keep fighting.  I was lying in bed with her last night worried she may not make it through the night and the next thing I know, she is getting up to go brush her teeth.  She is so tough!

We aren't alone in this, and family and close friends have come by to offer assistance and support.  We are grateful to have a group to rely on.  We are also grateful to anyone who has sent a text or email of support and also to anyone who has had a good thought for us.  Thank you.

Will

Not What We Were Expecting

So we went in for our chemo today. We had a round 2 weeks ago, that seemed to go quite well. It took me a little bit longer to recover from, but it was only one day that was bad, and after that I started to feel quite good.  It seemed like things were heading the direction we wanted.  Anyways, we went in today, pretty positive on what was going to happen.

Unfortunately my biliruben numbers have gone up. They had been decreasing each week since the stents went in, and the only thing different was the chemo.  The doctor figures that my liver isn't tolerating the aggressive chemo any longer.  Also, that chemo is not an option with my bili numbers where they are, and there is no point waiting and hoping for a few weeks that they will go down again, just to try again and have this happen again. So we went with the next plan. It is a different form of chemo. It works very differently then traditional forms and apparently it won't affect my liver function.

Hopefully this one works well. The plan is to get it every 2 weeks. We will also do a ct scan soon and then again in a few months to see if it working.

Please keep praying and thinking about us!

Beds

We have had a fairly low key and normal week, which was really nice for us! The highlights of it were switching beds.

We moved Liam out of his crib and into a "big boy bed". It has only been one night and nap time, but it has gone well so far. We were a little bit worried that he would be climbing in and out and leaving the room, but he seemed pretty excited to sleep in it. Hopefully this trend keeps up. We did it now because he had started climbing/falling out of the playpen downstairs and I really didn't want it to happen in his crib. Also, as I am feeling well right now I thought it was a good time. I really wanted to be part of the whole transition process and I feared that if we waited until we HAD to do it, that I wouldn't be feeling well and would have been left on the sidelines for that milestone. So, bed is in place, crib was given to a nice family and I am really happy with the way it all went.

The second bed transition was for me! We got rid of the hospital bed!! I probably could have taken it down a few weeks ago, but it was such a luxury. It really was comfortable, and so convenient to be able to raise the head or feet with the touch of a button. The downside was, it was a hospital bed, but it was only a few feet away from Will, so it didn't seem so bad. Last night went quite well back in our regular bed. My back was a little bit more sore than usual when I woke up, but I had a pretty decent sleep and I can only imagine that it will get better.

More good news...Will had his last appointment with the cast clinic and his last set of X-rays. He was given the thumbs up to go ahead with any regular activities, including bike riding. This was the news we were expecting, but it was still nice to hear from a doctor that he wouldn't hurt himself further by doing everyday things.

My dad also had a birthday a few days ago. Happy Birthday Dad!

All in all, life is moving along as smooth as it goes for us right now. We will hopefully have a nice weekend, and then back to chemo on Monday.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and well wishes.

6 Years Ago

I didn’t realize Mel was going to post something today, I had been thinking about this one for awhile so here goes....

Six years ago today, Melissa and I had our first date.   Now most people wouldn’t characterize either of us as smooth and the end of our first date was a bit awkward.  When I got home my roommate Geoff asked me how things went.  I answered that I had a good time and hoped I would get a chance to see Melissa again.  But, I wasn’t sure if she felt the same.  I remember mentioning to Geoff that if she didn’t want to see me again, she had raised my expectations about the kind of woman I wanted to spend time with. So it was fair to say I was pretty taken with her from the start.   Happily, Mel called me the next day to set up our second date.  From there things were pretty awesome, our brief history has us at some point moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, moving into a new house, having our first kid, and then having a second kid.  Basically, from the night of our first date and for the next five years (and I think Mel would agree with this) life was pretty close to perfect. Not that we didn’t have some challenges and rough times to deal with, but on a whole, life was pretty sweet.  From my perspective I met this awesome woman who was the person I wanted to share my life with, I had a job that isn’t like work a lot of time, we have all our family close by, and we have a great network of friends while we live in an amazing community.  Honestly I couldn’t have asked for anything else.  

Now from that, to sitting in a doctor’s office and hearing that Mel has cancer last May things have changed quite a bit.  Honestly the sixth year has been far from perfect.  I really can’t express how all the anxiety, stress, and fears make me feel.  There have been some pretty shitty moments to deal with, but we have been getting through them.  And, despite all of that, we have had some amazing times in our sixth year together.  Some of the highlights for me were, Kristie and Jonny’s wedding, a trip to Nova Scotia, and getting to ride Mel’s lap of the Test of Humanity with her.  But, the best times of the last year were just spent together, watching Sophie and Liam grow up.  This morning we took them to the BMX track and watched them rip around on their run bikes and then this afternoon we sat together and watched them play in our backyard....that was pretty perfect.   

Fortunately we still have the family close by, the great friends, and the awesome community all giving us tremendous support.  Mel has been amazing through this whole process, and I am only speaking for myself, but without the support we have received I am pretty sure I would have cracked and failed, at doing what I have to do, to be there for my wife and kids.  Thank you!

Heading into our 7th year together I am grateful that Mel called to set up that second date, and I am looking forward to more good times together.

Thanks for reading,

Will

Overdue Post

I apologize for not updating this blog in such a long time. I don't really have a reason why. I kept meaning to and just got lazy/ran out of time/forgot. I've been receiving quite a few messages lately asking if everything is okay, so I guess it is time for an update.

There have been a lot of ups and downs over the past 6 weeks. My pelvis has healed up nicely. I was able to walk without assistance fairly quickly. I still have problems carrying things or lifting things past my waist, but I am able to pick up Liam and put him onto the change table and crib. During the day I am able to do normal activities again and take care of the kids. This is something that I really do not take for granted as there was a chunk of time in there when this was not possible.

My liver pretty much started to fail on me. I was all yellow and my numbers were through the roof. I really did not realize how important liver function is, but I have never felt so sick in my life. I ended up having another ERCP  and this time they put 2 stents into my liver. They used bigger ones this time in hopes that they would work better.. They did...eventually. The next day I was really sick. By the evening I was having fever and chills so we went into the ER. I was put on antibiotics and they took some blood cultures. I turns out I did have an infection, but the antibiotics worked quickly and cleared it up. Since then I gradually felt better and better. My liver numbers have been going down drastically. My eyes and skin are back to a normal colour.

Now we are just waiting to start chemo. We have been waiting for my liver numbers to be low enough, so hopefully we will be able to do that tomorrow.

Other than that we have been enjoying this nice weather and being able to get outside more with the kids. We are so grateful for everyone that has helped us out over these past weeks. I really don't know how we could have done it alone.

Thanks for thinking about me!