A Little Faith

Will and I were recently in Vancouver for a night. I was going down for an appointment so we turned it into a mini-holiday. We had a great dinner with friends and then the following morning went for a mountain bike ride. We rode a green/beginner trail called "Bobsled" on Fromme (in case any of you have ridden there before). As I was riding, I realized that mountain biking and having cancer have lots of similarities...although, mtn biking is definitely more fun!

Will had already ridden the trail and was confident in my ability to do it. The sign said only basic bike handling skills were necessary and that most people could do it. As nervous as I was, I knew that I was going to end up at the end of the trail in one piece (maybe slightly bruised, cut up and with a few scary experiences along the way). Just like I KNOW I am going to come out of this cancer journey okay. There will be some bumps along the way, and I won't like all of it, but in the end I will be okay.

Through the trail there were lots of corners and descents that I was terrified of. Will assured me that I just had to trust the bike and I would be fine. I didn't always believe him, but he was right. As long as I had faith and just went for it, I was able to do it. The parts I didn't get through, were when I let the fear get the better of me and I slowed down too much, stopped to think about it or decided against it and got off my bike.

This is the similarity I am talking about. In the last 4 months I have been faced with many scary things. All the tests, needles, treatments, appointments are pretty daunting to look at. I just need to put my head down and do it. It's when I stress about things that they become worse. I need to have faith in the doctors and their ability. I need confidence in what my mind and body and can do. I need to rely on all the support I am given to make the journey smoother. I just need to take each day, each bump, each switch back one at a time and I will get to the end. I will be tired and sore but it will be worth it.

Had someone told me last year that I would willingly lie on my couch to get a needle each day, have an iv attached to my chest for 48hours at a time, allow my blood to be taken on a regular basis, be able to go to the park while waiting for the results of a ct scan and generally live life while going through chemo, I would have thought they were nuts. When I look at the trails that experienced riders ride, I think how on earth could anybody possibly do that! But the truth is, you just can. You gain confidence along the way and realize what you are capable of. I believe I am a stronger person than I was 4 months ago and I will continue to get stronger so that I can overcome each obstacle I am faced with.