Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! We had a fantastic Christmas! Sophie has been so excited all month, so it was really special to watch her open gifts and celebrate the day with family. On Christmas Eve, we had dinner at my parents house. We missed my sister and her husband, as they were at Everest base camp...I know, crazy! It was a nice night and the kids were in such great spirits. After we got the kids to bed, my parents came over to our place for a nice visit. True to form, Sophie and Liam woke us bright and early Christmas morning. Every single morning Sophie has to take purple dolly, a magic wand, and two books downstairs with her. She also insists on having slippers on. However, realizing that the quicker she got downstairs the sooner she got to see if Santa came, she declared, "I don't need to get my stuff organized on Christmas and I don't need to wear my slippers. Let's just go downstairs, okay mommy?" It was pretty cute. Gift opening was fun, although a little hectic. Liam was in a pretty bad mood (he was pretty much screaming the whole time). Afterwards was amazing though. They were so excited to play with their new stuff. Sophie is really into games right now, so we played her new pig game and go fish and did her puzzles. Liam gradually got happier. We then went to Will's parents for a nice brunch. I think Liam ate about 3 plates of pancakes. Even after he was done, he kept going back into the kitchen and helping himself to more. Little piggy! We came home and relaxed for a few hours and then headed to Will's sister's house for Christmas dinner. It was great. The kids had so much fun playing with each other and chasing each other around the house. The food was amazing and it was just a fantastic way to end the day.

The week before Christmas the kids got really sick. Sophie ended up living on the couch for about 5 days. And then Liam got it. They were up multiple times each night. It was no fun. Because of the sick kids, we weren't able to do a few things we traditionally do each year. (Santa pictures, decorate cookies, make a homemade gift for Will, family picture in front of the tree). I mean we could have done them, but it would have been zero fun, both kids would have been screaming and coughing and throwing up and I would have been super stressed. At first it really bothered me, but then I realized it doesn't really matter. Who cares if we are missing a Santa picture from this year? We still did lots of fun holiday things and we will continue to do lots of great stuff all winter.

Today the kids and I are having a relaxing day at home. Hopefully we will be able to put some stuff away and get the house somewhat back in order. My aunt is going to come by for a visit later and then tonight Will and I are going on a date! We get to spend tons of time together, but most of it revolves around appointments, so it will be nice to get out.

I had to go get blood work done today and then chemo tomorrow. At one point it looked like I was going to be getting my chemo on the 24th so I am very grateful that the date changed and I was able to really enjoy Christmas.

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

A little hiccup

So I had chemo yesterday and completely overreacted to something. It has taken me until today to completely calm down, which is really silly, because it wasn't a big deal at all. We go into oncology early to get my blood drawn. It then gets sent to the lab "stat" so that it will be done in time for me to see the doctor and have treatment. The nurse got me all hooked up and then I could tell something wasn't right. I don't watch what she's doing, but it seemed like something was different. She then told me that she couldn't draw any blood. I got a huge pit in my stomach and started crying. She explained that this happens with port-a-caths and that it is really common and not a big deal. My choices were have something injected into it so that it would clear (this would take an hour and make me late for my doctors appointment and treatment) or I could get my blood drawn the old fashioned way from the lab. I choose the lab, because that seemed the 'easiest'. As much as I hate extra needles, I'm not doing anything to jeopardize not getting my chemo. Luckily we saw a tech who we know and she was very fast and it was pretty painless. After, we went back to oncology were I had the injection to clear out my port. Everything is back to working order.

The doctor's appointment went fine, all my blood work is still looking good. I somehow managed to drop a couple of pounds though. I think becasue my weight had stabilized, I stopped actively trying to gain weight. Oops. Back on the eating as much fat and calories as possible diet. I'm guessing if I stopped with all the clean eating and started eating Christmas goodies I would gain it back pretty fast, but I think that would cause me more harm than good. I'm pretty confident I'll gain it back by my next appointment. I have just found a recipe for raw, sugarless, nanaimo bars that looks pretty good. I think that might help.

Yesterday completely exhausted me. It was a really busy day in oncology so we didn't get home until almost 6pm! The stress of the blood test really took a toll on me as well. I had a good sleep last night though and am feeling really well today. We put up and decorated our tree and made some Christmas puppets. Sophie and I put on a puppet show for Will and Liam. It was quite entertaining.

Tomorrow should be interesting....Will is removing my port-a-cath for me. I have total confidence in him, but  I am still a little nervous. Wish us luck!

Ski Season

I want to start by thanking you for reading my blog over the past 6 months. It really has made me feel like I have a ton of support out there. I also want to say that I won't be offended if you stop reading it. I haven't updated it as much recently because I don't know what to write about. I find myself mostly writing about the kids and what I did on the weekend. So anyways, if you stop checking the blog, I won't be mad.

Ski season is officially here! I am sitting on the couch at Apex, watching the snow fall. I love winter! My dad and I went for a xc ski on the weekend and Sophie and I have done a few runs of the bunny hill. I am hoping to take her on the grandfather's trail this weekend.

I am going to learn how to skate better this winter. Sophie is really keen, so we got her a push bar and Will and I bought ourselves skates. I am so excited to do the loop with her this winter. The zamboni was out today and they are hoping by the weekend the rink and loop will be open. I'm just not sure what we will do with Liam? Hopefully we can pull him around in the sled. I think he is going to hate watching his big sis ski and skate, and not be able to join her.

Last but not least, there will be a lot of tobogganing! Our kids love it.

Hope everyone is doing well!

It's all about the kids

Today is another chemo day. It used to be on Mondays, so yesterday was like a "bonus day". It was great to be able to spend both of Will's days off doing family stuff. Our kids are at the stage where they really want to help. We raked leaves and they each had a little shovel and helped put the leaves in the bag. It was pretty cute. Sophie also wanted to help put up the Christmas lights. We put her in some warm clothes and she stood next to the ladder for a good hour while Will put the lights up. She was so proud of herself. Watching her face light up as we turned to lights on for her was awesome. I wonder how many years they will think helping us is fun?

My parents are taking the kids today while we are at oncology. We are so fortunate that between our parents there is always someone willing and wanting to take our kids. They also make a point of turning chemo days into really fun days for the kids. This makes me so happy. The kids really look forward to these days. Instead of missing us or being scared for Mommy, they are happy to go on an adventure. I think today they are going to Apex and then coming back for Sophie's swim lesson. As soon as they get home, Will's parents are coming over with dinner and to help feed/bath/get ready for bed. Pretty lucky kids to get to hang out with all 4 grandparents in the same day.
Hopefully today goes smoothly for Will and I. We don't see a doctor today, so it might make the day a little shorter. Maybe. We can dream:)
Thank you for your continued prayers, thoughts and messages.

This is Life

Life is pretty good right now. We have just finished a crazy busy fall of travelling. We had a good mix of family trips and time without the kids. We managed to incorporate some of Will's bike races and my appointments into them and were able to visit some good friends. We were so lucky to be able to go away as much as we did. It really helps get through the chemo days when there is something fun to look forward to. Each trip was fantastic, but I am happy to be home now.

Our family is really looking forward to winter and spending lots of time at Apex. Sophie has already started playing "pretend Apex". She puts on her pretend winter clothes and then goes skating and skiing around the house. She's a daredevil so I'm sure she is going to try and go fast on the downhill skis this year.

What we are most grateful now is that I am continuing to feel fantastic and the cancer is continuing to shrink. Because everything is going so well we are able to enjoy a normal life. We were just chatting about how amazed we were at the normalcy of our lives, given the circumstances. When I envisioned my life during chemo, it was much different. I thought I'd be bedridden and "sick". I don't know where I got that idea from, everyone I know who has or had cancer, continues to function and live well, so I don't know why I thought I wouldn't be able to. I guess I was just scared.

Obviously parts of it suck. I'm not going to lie and say that spending a day at oncology is fun. It's not. I wish I had hair. I wish my stomach wasn't covered in bruises from the daily injections. I wish I could make plans without having to consult the calendar to see if it's a chemo week.

But...I am grateful that Will is able to come to every single one of my appointments and take care of me and the kids when I'm not feeling well. I'm grateful that our families live close by and are so helpful and supportive. I'm grateful that we have an awesome doctor to take care of me and the most amazing nurses I have ever met. I'm grateful that I'm able to stay home and play with the kids everyday. I'm grateful for all the amazing people who have made our new life so much better.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have stuff to complain about (so does everyone), but life wouldn't be much fun if that's what I focused on. I need to continue to put all my energy into the positive things and not waste time being upset by the not so great parts.

Exhale

Am I ever glad that appointment is over. As you know I had my ct scan a week ago. I could have made an appointment for last week to get the results, but I didn't. I really didn't want another appointment to go to. I thought that I would be nervous the morning of the appointment regardless of when it was. I was wrong. This was a really hard week for me to get through. Although I didn't feel "nervous" I was definitely grumpy and out of sorts.

I managed to get through this morning without getting too worked up. The worst part is the few minutes in the doctor's room before the doctor comes in. Will and I both let out a huge sigh of relief  when she said, "Good news on the scan". Everything else is kind  of a blur. She used technical language that I really didn't understand. We need a ct results for dummies explanation. But, the spots on my liver are continuing to shrink. YAY!!! It sounds like the tumor in my colon is unchanged.

Today is chemo treatment 13. They only book you for 12. They need to apply to get an extension for me. Apparently this won't be a problem, just a little hoop to jump through. As the doctor said, what we are doing is working, so we are just going to keep going.

The exciting news is we get to plan a family trip to Hawaii! We started planning this last winter, before I was diagnosed, and after the diagnosis we decided we still wanted to go. We had been waiting for this ct scan just to make sure that the schedule was staying the same and that'd I'd be good to go. I've been daydreaming about it for months, but I can't wait to actually pick dates and start booking it.

I still can't believe how relieved I am right now. We still need to go back to the hospital in a little bit for chemo. It will probably be a long day because of the long weekend. We have some shows downloaded on the laptop though, so it will make the time go by faster.

Thank you to everyone who prayed for me and sent me positive thoughts. Thanks for all the messages of support. I love getting those.

Happy Tuesday!

Calm

My ct scan is in 5 hours and I am surprisingly calm. I was expecting to wake up today wanting to throw up due to nerves.

I'm not excited for it. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do with my day, but I am not scared.

I am really looking forward to getting the results and a little reassurance that things are still moving in the right direction.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is. Maybe if I write that I'm not nervous, my calmness will continue throughout the day. Nerves are by far the worst part of this procedure, so if I can avoid it, it won't be bad.

I should probably get going and start paying attention to the kids. Who, by the way, are failing the time change. This morning was our best so far; 4:45 and 5:30.

In addition to praying/thinking positive things for me, could you also please include Henry Kuntze in your thoughts. He's a baby boy a little younger than Liam who is going through a surgical procedure and could use all the extra love we can send to him.

Happy Tuesday

Life

This week we finished up chemo #12! I can't believe it's been that many already. All of the people we used to see at oncology are no longer there. I'm not sure if they've switched days, or if their treatment is over or if they are taking a break. In any case, we're still there.

Sometimes it's a bit depressing to think that there is no end in sight yet. But if I look on the other side, every day the cancer is getting smaller and I am getting healthier. When I think about it like that, it's not so bad. Next week I will have another ct scan. I'm assuming the results will show more improvements. I'm not nervous about it yet, but I'm guessing when the appointment gets closer, I will be.

It's still surreal to look in the mirror and see my bald head and know that I have cancer. I don't feel sick at all. I probably have more energy now than I have since Sophie was born. (Combination of kids sleeping better, eating better and taking more time for myself). I am obviously very thankful that I feel so well, but it is still weird. How can I feel so great on Sunday and then have to go to chemo the next day? It's so hard to wrap my head around. It's also very strange that this is all so "normal" now. I will be making plans and then I hear myself say, "oh I have chemo that day" or "I can't sorry, ct scan", as if these were as ordinary as hair cuts and tire changes.

Although very strange, I am so glad that life is so normal now. 

We had a great Halloween. Sophie loved the trick or treating. Liam was pretty confused at first, but quickly caught on. We have a pretty low-key weekend planned, which will be a nice change for us.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. Please think of me on Tuesday and send me as many "cancer shrinking" vibes as you can.

I just re-read this, and the writing is terrible. Sorry about all the grammar mistakes, but I don't have time to go back and fix it now.

Impressions

I've been thinking a lot lately about getting a wig. I haven't quite decided on it, but I think I will get one. At the beginning, I was positive that I would not wear a wig. I'm not big on hair to begin with, mine was always in a ponytail. I also thought (and maybe I am right) that they would be itchy or uncomfortable. I just didn't see the point in them, but I am coming around to the idea.

It's a very strange feeling knowing that everyone around you, even total strangers know you have cancer. I don't feel sick, and I am used to having no hair, so quite often I forget about my situation.  We just got home from a trip to Great Wolf Lodge. At the waterpark, I was having a blast playing with the kids and I felt like every other mom there chasing after the little ones. Then I started wondering what everyone thought when they saw me. They would have noticed obviously that I was bald, and I would assume that they jumped to cancer. Did they feel pity for me? Were they impressed that I seemed active and normal? Did they think I was finished chemo and just waiting for the hair to grow back? Maybe they were so busy with their own lives that they never even thought about it.

I didn't realize that this was bothering me. I haven't had people stare or bring it up, so it didn't really seem an issue. (Total aside- two adults actually have asked me about it. One lady said, "what cause did you shave your head for? Is it a fundraiser?" I responded with the truth, "Cancer, I'm going through chemotherapy" Another man asked, "So is your head a fashion statement or....?" I replied with, "Ya, the second"). It wasn't until recently when it was raining and cold and I was wearing a tuque, along with everyone else, that I realized how nice it felt to fit in. When I was talking to another mom at the playground, she would have had no reason to give me a second thought. I really enjoyed not thinking about what other people were thinking.

If and when I do get a wig, I don't think I will wear it on a daily basis. If I am with friends and family, it would just seem silly. I do think, however, that it would be fun to wear to the grocery store or out for dinner or running errands. I finally feel happy with my body again, I don't feel stick thin and my clothes fit, so I think with a wig I would feel that I looked "normal". There's a picture of me from just before my hair came out. I was so skinny and my face looked gaunt. Even though I had hair, I looked sick. That wouldn't be the case now.

Anyways, enough of that. As I said, we were just away for a few days and we had a really good time. Will and I are exhausted though. Travelling with kids is not a vacation:) I feel good mentally and physically right now. Back to chemo for #12 on Monday. Happy weekend everyone!

Ups and Downs

Before I start, I just want to say that I'm not trying to complain. I know not every single day can be  fun and that there has to be some down days. Everyone has days when they're not 100%, I'm just feeling a little sorry for myself right now.

Let's start with the fun stuff though! On Sunday we went to Kelowna to watch Will do a cyclo cross race. For the non-cyclists, cyclo cross is really fun to watch. The races are less than an hour, and the riders have to ride through some pretty weird stuff and normally jump off their bikes and carry them through some barriers. Anyways, my dad came with us (thank you!) and the kids had their bikes so we pretty much chased them around. It was lots of fun. Afterwards, we drove to Wild Play, it's an outdoor adventure park with ziplines and other adrenaline type things. We had a pass to do the primal swing (Thanks Susie and Dean!). I was imagining a really high swing. I though we'd climb up a ladder or something. I didn't realize we would be 250 ft about ground!! It was sooo scary. I screamed the entire time. Once I was safely back on ground I was pretty happy and glad I did it. I'm not sure if Will had more fun swinging or watching me. It was a great day all around.

Now for the less fun stuff. Chemo was Monday. Bloodwork, doctor appointment went fine. We had a bit of time before heading back to the hospital so I stopped in to see my sister and got a fabulous pedicure. Definitely the highlight of my day. For whatever reason, the chemo made me a bit more nauseous than usual. Part way through they convinced me to get another shot of something. It did help. Later that night though I really didn't feel very well. Yesterday was another down day. I slept for a few hours in the morning and I went to bed at 7:30 last night. I was really hoping that I would feel better today. The kids really wanted to go for a bike ride so we got them ready and I was planning on going as well, but by the time everyone was dressed I was tuckered out. So I'm sitting on the couch, while my family is out having fun. I hate having to miss out on things like this:(

I know this was just a rough cycle. I have to keep in mind that this isn't as bad as I imagined chemo would be. I know I will feel better tomorrow and probably the next one won't be so bad. It just really really sucks sometimes. On the bright side, it's days like this that make me appreciate all my other great days that much more.

Well that feels a little better. Always nice to vent! Hope everyone is having a good day.

It's been awhile

Hello again. I apologize for not updating this in so long. A few people got in touch asking if everything was okay, and yes, I am fine. We were away for a week and then I think I just got out of the habit. So anyways, here is a quick update...

We spent six days in Nova Scotia with my parents and no kids. We had a fantastic trip. The weather was gorgeous and we all had a really nice time away. We spent a day in Halifax, a few days in Lunenburg, and one day in the Annapolis Valley before heading back to Halifax. I thought I was going to miss the kids way more than I did. They had a great time with Nama and Pa and didn't seem to be too affected by us being home.

We came home on a Sunday afternoon and the next morning was a chemo day. It's always hard to come back to real life after vacation, but I must say that getting home and heading straight to oncology was really not a lot of fun. The treatment went well though. We didn't see a doctor so I don't have any new info, but I recovered really quickly from it. The Tuesday is normally my worst day, but I was able to spend the morning with Sophie's preschool and volunteer for her field trip...although the teachers were awesome and on the walk back one teacher piggy backed a whiny and tired Sophie so I didn't have to carry her.

We had a nice Thanksgiving dinner with our family. I'm only a little bit jealous that some of them are in Hawaii right now:) Liam got a bike which he is loving. It is so much fun to take both kids out for a bike ride. Sophie is being a great big sister and rides ahead for a bit and then loops back to find Liam.

I am still feeling really well and am continuing to put on weight. We went for a road ride this week. It was my first time out since getting diagnosed. The day before we found out, Will gave me some really pretty purple bike shoes, so I was really happy to be able to wear them before the season was over.

I really really really appreciate all of you that think of me and pray for me and send me positive thoughts. I will make sure to update this more often. Hope everyone is doing well.

Fun Fun and More Fun

This is going to be super short. Just wanted to say how much fun we all had at the Test of Humanity on Sunday. I rode the course way better than I had before and it was great to finish with my family there cheering for me. Sophie had a great race and rode 2km. She also had a blast playing on the kids stunt course. Will, Jonny and my dad also had great races.

We are currently in Nova Scotia. We had a blast checking out Halifax yesterday and our looking forward to spending today in Lunenburg.

Test Results

Last week was a really stressful week for me, as I had to have 2 tests... and wait until yesterday for my results.

The first was a CEA or tumor marker. It was a blood test that I had done before I started treatments and this was the first time they had retested it. It's useful in that in can show growth or decrease but can't really be used to detect cancer or absence of cancer. Not everyone with colon cancer has an elevated CEA, but I did.

The second was another ct scan. This was my 3rd scan. The first scan was right when I was diagnosed and about 3 weeks before treatment started. The 2nd was after 4 chemo cycles. The 2nd showed no spread but also no decrease. We (the doctor included) believe that I got worse during the 3 weeks before treatment started and therefore the tumors actually had decreased, but just back to the starting point. We were really really hoping to see a decrease in this scan.

Yesterday, we went to oncology just after 8am for my blood work. My appointment with the doctor wasn't until 9:30. We could hear him talking in the other room and he actually came into the chemo room to talk to another patient. I was really hoping he was going to give me a thumbs up or an okay sign or something or even just tell me that I had good results. When he didn't, my heart sunk and I took it as a bad sign. In reality, he was just focused on another patient. That didn't help my anxiety though.

We returned for our appointment and after struggling with a bit on the scale (it wasn't working properly and showed that I had lost 10lbs in two weeks! Yikes! after a few attempts I was back to where I was 2 weeks ago) we were called into the office. The doctor came in, and bless his heart, the first thing he said was, "we have good results". Phew, huge sigh of relief.

My liver enzymes which are tested every cycle have been improving each time. 3 out of 4 have been normal for a while and now the 4th is in spitting distance. The upper limit for whatever the enzyme is called (you would think I would know by now) is 126 and mine is 129. So yay for a functioning liver again!!

My CEA is a 3 which is also pretty normal. (I googled afterwards and 2.5 is normal, so I'll happily take a 3). I'm not sure what it was when I started, but it was elevated. I asked the doctor what exactly this means. Cancer cells (I'm assuming some not all as not everyone with cancer has elevated CEA) secrete some type of hormone, enzyme, protein, I'm not sure what, that can be detected. Mine have obviously stopped secreting this! Which Will and I are taking to mean that the cells are weaker and not spreading. In case it is very positive and good news.

My scan was also good. The report only mentioned my liver and it said that the cancer had decreased. The doctor didn't tell us exactly how much and we didn't ask. He did say it wasn't a huge decrease, but that it was going in the right direction. The oncologist that we saw in Kelowna, also emailed about the results and said he was very happy to see a decrease. There was no mention of the tumor in my colon, but as I've said before, as long as it's not blocking my bowel movements, it doesn't really matter. The doctor did say that it would be really odd for one part of my cancer to decrease and not the other, so the tumor has most likely decreased as well. We will do another scan after 4 more cycles.

When we started this they said 12 cycles and re-evaluate. Yesterday was cycle 9. Will asked what would happen after 12 and the doctor told us we would just keep on going with the chemo. My body is tolerating it well and it is working so there is no reason to stop. He said I could be on a chemo for a long time. At first I was a bit shocked. I was kind of looking forward to being done with this. But I am really happy we don't have to take a couple months off to let my body recover before starting again. I would be so nervous about the cancer growing in that time period. I am much happier to keep doing the chemo and know that we are winning. The other good thing is at least we know what our life will look like for the next year? more? less?. Every other Monday I'll get my chemo and by Thursday life will be grand again. I can plan activities, think about when we'll be at Apex, think about more family trips, and just not have the unknown hanging above us.

It took me most of yesterday to absorb all the information and really be happy about it. I was so nervous going in, that I think I built a big shell up to protect me from the results. As each little nugget of good news sunk in though, I just got happier and happier.

A Little Faith

Will and I were recently in Vancouver for a night. I was going down for an appointment so we turned it into a mini-holiday. We had a great dinner with friends and then the following morning went for a mountain bike ride. We rode a green/beginner trail called "Bobsled" on Fromme (in case any of you have ridden there before). As I was riding, I realized that mountain biking and having cancer have lots of similarities...although, mtn biking is definitely more fun!

Will had already ridden the trail and was confident in my ability to do it. The sign said only basic bike handling skills were necessary and that most people could do it. As nervous as I was, I knew that I was going to end up at the end of the trail in one piece (maybe slightly bruised, cut up and with a few scary experiences along the way). Just like I KNOW I am going to come out of this cancer journey okay. There will be some bumps along the way, and I won't like all of it, but in the end I will be okay.

Through the trail there were lots of corners and descents that I was terrified of. Will assured me that I just had to trust the bike and I would be fine. I didn't always believe him, but he was right. As long as I had faith and just went for it, I was able to do it. The parts I didn't get through, were when I let the fear get the better of me and I slowed down too much, stopped to think about it or decided against it and got off my bike.

This is the similarity I am talking about. In the last 4 months I have been faced with many scary things. All the tests, needles, treatments, appointments are pretty daunting to look at. I just need to put my head down and do it. It's when I stress about things that they become worse. I need to have faith in the doctors and their ability. I need confidence in what my mind and body and can do. I need to rely on all the support I am given to make the journey smoother. I just need to take each day, each bump, each switch back one at a time and I will get to the end. I will be tired and sore but it will be worth it.

Had someone told me last year that I would willingly lie on my couch to get a needle each day, have an iv attached to my chest for 48hours at a time, allow my blood to be taken on a regular basis, be able to go to the park while waiting for the results of a ct scan and generally live life while going through chemo, I would have thought they were nuts. When I look at the trails that experienced riders ride, I think how on earth could anybody possibly do that! But the truth is, you just can. You gain confidence along the way and realize what you are capable of. I believe I am a stronger person than I was 4 months ago and I will continue to get stronger so that I can overcome each obstacle I am faced with.

A Card

Sophie gave me the best ever card today. She loves making "cards", they are just plain paper with scribbles on them. Today, she proudly presented me with a card and said, "This is for you Mommy. It says your belly will be better soon Mama". She even put a big M on the card so I would know it was for me. How did I end up with the sweetest kid ever?

I finished up my 8th chemo cycle yesterday. Completely out of character for me, I did a little bit too much this week, so I was not quite back to 100% today. I'm sure I'll be there tomorrow though. The bright side is, even though it was a chemo week, I still got to lots of fun stuff!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Emotions

I can't believe it is the end of Labour Day weekend.  How did summer go by so quickly? We had a great weekend: beach, Will's bike race, picnic, friends, waterslides, mountain biking, going on the wave runner, paddle boarding. I don't think we could have fit in anything else. We are all exhausted!

This is a big week for us. Sophie is starting preschool! (Dance and swimming start next week. We are going to be busy!!). I'm pretty sure that the start of preschool would have been really emotional for me regardless, but add in all the extra feelings because of the cancer, and I think it is going to be really hard.

I get to go with her this week as part of a gradual entry. I will have to go with my chemo bottle in my fanny pack. I don't go out a lot while my chemo is hooked up, mainly because I don't have energy, but also because it looks odd. I really wish the days would have worked differently, as I don't want to stand out from all the other moms taking their kids to preschool. The day will be all about Sophie, I'm just not very pleased that I am going to have the tubes reminding me that my life is so very different right now than I ever imagined. Will has offered to go in my place, but there is no way I am going to miss this.

We took Sophie shopping today to get her a backpack and a first day of school outfit. Her criteria for her outfit was, "I don't want anything too ugly, or too small or too big. Okay?". We decided to let her pick out whatever she wanted. She had so much fun choosing her bag and looking through the clothing. It wasn't what I would have chosen, but I think it's pretty special that she picked it out. She is so excited!

I will miss Sophie while she's in school, but I am really looking forward to spending one on one time with Liam. My little dude is growing so quickly. He is learning new words every day and is getting really good at communicating. He is such a character. His favourite game right now is putting a shiny gold purse around his neck and then going "bye bye". It is so cute. He also loves putting on Sophie's bracelets and rings. I love that he doesn't know that boys aren't meant to do these things. I wonder if he'll try to steal Sophie's tutu?

I'm really grateful I had such a busy and fun weekend as tomorrow will be very long and boring. I love chemo because it's making me better, but I really don't enjoy getting it.

Happy end of summer holidays to everyone!

A Good Day

The kids and I had such a good day today. I hate saying that I had a "good day", because it seems to imply that some days are bad. I don't really have "bad" days. Some aren't as good as others, but in general they are all pretty fantastic. Usually the parts that aren't good, have more to do with kids being cranky than me having cancer.

I also hate saying that I'm tired. In my mind saying it means that I am tired and out of energy because of the cancer. When, in reality, sometimes you are just tired out from living life. A few months ago there were lots of times when I was tired due to the cancer, but those times seem to be few and far between now.

I guess where this post is going is that I don't want cancer to dictate what I do, how people think of me or act towards me.

The day after I got diagnosed, the oncology social worker met with us. She told us that at the start it would feel like there is a big neon sign with the word "cancer" flashing over our heads and that as time went on the sign would disappear and that cancer would just be a little package that we sometimes pay attention to. She was right. At the start everything revolved around the big "C". That's all we thought and talked about. What we did during the day was determined by how I was feeling and we never planned past tomorrow. Now, it's just a little annoying thing that we have to deal with from time to time. With the exception of 3 days during each chemo treatment, I feel great and have tons of energy and do what I want to do, not what I "can" do.

When I am with friends or family, cancer is not the main topic of conversation. It comes up sometimes, but there are way more fun and interesting things to discuss. Some days it doesn't come up at all, and I love it! I don't mind talking about it and am definitely not offended if someone asks about it, but I am much more than "someone with cancer".

I obviously just went off on a bit of a tangent. What I intended to write about was what a great day we had. Some family friends are in town visiting and it has been way too long since we have seen them. The kids that my sister and I used to babysit are now teenagers and they played with/looked after Sophie and Liam today. The day ended on a high note as well. As I was getting Sophie ready for bed she looked at me and said, "I had a fun day mommy. I love you". It doesn't get much better than that:)

Looking forward to fall

It's ironman week, which means that summer is almost over. I can't believe how quickly it went by. It always seems that come fall, no matter how much time we spent outdoors, it feels like we should have done more. Hopefully we will be able to get a couple more beach days in before the hot weather is gone.

We have a lot to look forward to come September. Sophie is starting preschool and ballet class. She is so excited for both of them. I can't believe my baby girl is big enough to do these things. I really think she will do great and have a blast. She is a bit nervous about going without me, but I'm pretty sure once she sees all her new friends she will be fine. She told me I could come visit, but I would need to wear indoor shoes and that I had to sit at the table when I was doing arts and crafts. At least she knows the rules:)

We are heading to the Shuswap for a weekend. I've driven through, but never stayed before. I am really looking forward to it. It will be nice to have a couple of family days with nothing to do. I'm hoping that we'll be able to spend some time at the beach and go for some nice walks.

Also, Will, my parents and I are going to Nova Scotia! It came up out of the blue, it wasn't even on the horizon. My mom and I have always wanted to go, so we are going!! Will's parents have agreed to take the kids for a week (thank you!). I am going to miss them like crazy, but it will be really great to spend some time with Will, my mom and dad.

Oh and I almost forgot, the mountain bike race/event that we are all doing. Hopefully I will get a chance to ride it again before the big day. Will, Sophie and I went to the bmx track the other day to "teach mommy how to ride a bike". After a little while, I was riding through the entire course, over all the bumps. I was pretty proud of myself, until I turned and saw Sophie riding everything too. How is my 3 year old better on a bike than I am?

This is completely unrelated, but I feel like I need to mention Liam. He figured out he could stick his finger into his nose today. He was so proud of himself and thought he was hilarious. How do you not laugh at the kid? As I was singing him his bedtime lullaby, he was laughing so hard with his finger in his nose. That boy is quite the character.

I'm still doing really well. I had chemo this week and everything went smoothly. I over did it a bit, which led to me feeling not so well on Wednesday, but I felt normal again yesterday. The scale keeps moving up and I don't feel ridiculously skinny anymore. I've done a few workouts and I don't feel as weak as I did a few months ago.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Food

As anyone who has read this blog knows, I have completely switched my diet over the past few months. I love talking to people about the food I'm eating because I believe it has made a huge difference in my health and love it every time someone tells me they are trying to eat better as well. I thought I'd share a few a my new favourite recipes.

Cabbage Salad: This is sooooo good but it has a lot of garlic. I crave this a lot and have made it as my bedtime snack. It lasts really well for a couple of days. I've used the purple and green cabbage and both taste good.

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/matts-garlic-salad/

Turmeric Tea: I had never heard of turmeric before, but apparently it is super good for you for all kinds of reasons. I was having a hard time using it frequently in cooking, but found this recipe for tea and now make it every night.

1 1/2 C water
1/2 cinnamon stick
1/3 of a nutmeg
3-4 cloves
a chunk of ginger
1tsp turmeric

Put everything in a small pot and bring to a boil and then let simmer about 10 mins. Pour through a tea strainer. Add milk and sweetener. I've used almond and coconut milk with it. I haven't added sweetener but I think agave nectar would tastes really good. I started by using ground spices (that's what we had) but it was really hard to strain. Using the whole ingredients is way easier. Warning: turmeric will turn your cloths yellow.

Yam Chips:  So good and so easy! We use a mandolin to slice the yams. It took a couple tries to get it right, but when you do they have the same crispiness as real chips. Good alone or with a dip.

Thinly slice a yam or two. Place on a baking sheet, sprinkle some salt on. Bake at 200 for 45 mins, flip the chips over and bake about 30 mins more. Check to make sure they are crispy. If not let bake a little longer.

Breakfast Power Cereal: A friend sent me a care package that included a package of this. It was so good, that I have been making my own. I mix up a container and then leave it in the fridge so it's easy to make in the mornings.

I don't know what the ratios are, but just mix it up to how you want.
Chia seeds
Hemp hearts
Pumpkin seeds
Dried fruit (it came with goji berries and cranberries. I am using goji berries and dried mango right  now)

Heat 2/3 C of "milk" and add to 1/3 C of cereal. Let sit about 5 minutes and enjoy!

Rice Bowl: This may be my favourite. The whole family likes it, which makes it even better.

Bowl: Wild rice, grated carrots, grated beets, chopped spinach, chick peas, toasted almonds (we bake slivered almonds at 350 for 15 mins).

Dressing: In a blender combine:
1/4 C water
1/4C soya sauce
1/4 C apple cider vinegar
1 clove garlic
3/4 C olive oil

Eggplant and Chickpea curry: I went searching for eggplant recipes and found this one. It was pretty easy to make and tasted really good. If you are feeding more than 1 person you may need to make more. Between dinner and an after dinner snack I ate the whole thing:)

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2011/01/eggplant-and-chickpea-curry.html

I even made the garam masala...now to figure out how to use the rest of it.

Syrup: A friend and I made some fancy raw crepes with "cream" filling. They were delicious and so was the syrup. I have been trying to find something to put on my coconut pancakes and I think this is it.

In a food processor put some fresh or thawed frozen rasberries and some agave nectar. I think I might try mangos next time.

That's probably enough for now. Hope everyone had a great weekend:)

Having Fun in the Dirt

I don't write as well as my wife, grateful pictures can tell a story.....

Will

Hmmmm....

So I am full of ideas. Sometimes they are great and sometimes not so much. I'm hoping what I have planned for tomorrow is the former.

Last year, friends of ours put on a mountain bike race in Summerland. It's called the Test of Humanity and the purpose of the event is to raise money for Canadian Humanitarian. It's a 4 hour endurance ride, but there is also a beginner and kids category. Last year Will and my dad each did it the enduro event. They had a blast and the Test of Humanity raised a ton of money.

I didn't do it for two reasons. Mainly, because I have zero mountain biking skills and also because I didn't feel like taking the time to learn them. I am not exaggerating in my lack of skills. Will took me mtn biking when we first started dating. It ended in tears (mine) and my bike being carried (by him). He hasn't taken me on a real mountain bike ride since.

When registration started for this year's race, I decided to enter Sophie and myself. It was back in February and it seemed like a good idea. Mountain biking looks like fun and there's no reason I shouldn't be able to do it. Will was supportive and had a spring/summer training agenda laid out for me. We were going to continue road riding so I would be fit and then head to Silver Star and go on the really easy downhill trails so that I could get comfortable on the bike. After all of that we would try out the course. I haven't been on a bike in 3.5 months and we are riding the course tomorrow.

When I first got diagnosed with cancer, we considered the idea that I may still do the ride. I was non committal (is that a word?) either way. We still had time to go for a few rides and see how I felt out on a bike. We haven't ridden yet, not because I don't feel up to it, just because we don't have time. Between all the doctors appointments and rest (aka chemo) days, we chose to use all of our extra time to do stuff with the kids. A few weeks ago Will and I chatted about me possibly trying the Test again. The plan was to go for a road ride and if I felt ok riding, we would then plan to try out the course. We never went for that road ride.

Tomorrow at 6:30 am we are heading out to try it.  I figure I might as well jump on a mountain bike and see what I can do.  I am really really hoping that I will be able to ride more than I have to walk. My fitness level is pretty non existent. Besides walking, I haven't done anything since May. My mountain biking skills probably haven't improved since the last time I went. But, I am pretty determined. Hopefully that will be enough.

If tomorrow's ride isn't a complete disaster I'll take part in my first ever bike race in 6 weeks. The only catch is I need to do it in under 60 minutes. The beginners' race and kids' race start an hour apart and I want to watch Sophie. Maybe Nic and Shei will let me get a head start? Just joking, well sort of....

If anyone is interested in signing up for the race or making a donation, the website is www.testofhumanity.com

Tomorrow Makes 6

I can't believe that tomorrow will be my 6th chemo treatment. That means that I started chemo 12 weeks ago and found out I had cancer 15 weeks ago. In some ways it has gone by so quickly, but on the other hand it all feels so normal now that I can't remember what life was like before this. I thought I'd share a few completely random things from the past few months.

-Taking off the band-aid hurts more than the actual needle/blood test.
-The vast majority of the people who work at Penticton Regional Hospital are amazing.  We have met lots oncology nurses, doctors, radiology staff, lab techs, and pharmacists.  We have been continually impressed by their caring, compassion, and dedication.
-I have eaten 3 entire eggplants this week. I know that is completely unrelated, but it's a lot of eggplant!
-I am still a terrible cook. I have no instincts on what spices to put in or how to cook something. I was  trying to saute Swiss chard the other day, and although I've done this a few times, I still had to refer to a recipe.
-Will is a great cook and doesn't need recipes. Last week he was making me a salsa and tasted the pepper to decide how many he should put in. It was hotter than we thought. His mouth was on fire for the next hour. Poor guy!
-It is equal parts comforting and unsettling when I walk into the drug store and the pharmacist knows my name.
-The best part of chemo days are that I get to lay on the couch all the day (Oh how I used to wish for a day like this before this all started...a whole day to relax/nap and have someone bring me food)
-The worst part of the chemo days are that I have to lay on the couch all day... Daytime tv gets old really fast.
-Raw vegan food is better than it sounds.  I still eat some cooked chicken and eggs, but you can have a tasty meal that doesn't involve cooking or meat.  I think this was a bigger revelation to Will than me.
-Fanny packs may not be stylish but are very functional.  I put one to use for a couple of days at the start of every second week right now.
-New hairstyle, or lack of hair has made my showering routine much faster.  But it is annoying I still have to save my legs.

I hope everyone had a great long weekend.

Magic Wand

Sophie was at a birthday party on the weekend and was given a wand to take home. She has decided it is magic. She does magic on her dolls and sleeps with it so she can do magic in her sleep. The other day as Will was giving me my daily injection, she pointed the wand at my stomach. I asked what she was doing and she said she was making my belly all better. It made me tear up and I hated to disappoint her when she asked, "Is your belly better now? Did my magic wand fix it?"

If only it were that easy. Although I would love to wave a wand and be declared healthy again, in a weird way I am grateful for the cancer. I have learned so much over the past few months, mostly to appreciate all the wonderful things that happen on a daily basis. Overall I am happier and more content with life than I was pre-diagnosis. The small things don't bother me as much anymore and I find that I really don't stress out about things anymore...well except for results of medical tests, but I think that's unavoidable.

Due to my change in diet, my family eats healthier. My kids will grow up eating less processed stuff and more fruits of veggies because of this. I am guessing there aren't a ton of toddlers out there that get excited when I bring home seaweed for a special treat or that drink wheat grass/kale juice on a daily basis. They are also going to grow up with a Mommy and Daddy who cherish and are grateful for every milestone we get to go through. From the first day of preschool to highschool graduation and everything in between, I will be thankful to be a part of it.

At the end of everyday, I go through in my head all the things I am grateful for. The list is huge. Each day is another accumulation of great moments. It sounds so corny and I'm sure some people think I am just saying it, but I would not change anything. There is no other person I would rather be and no other life I would like to live. I think I am pretty darn lucky.

Wedding, Waterslides and Chemo

We have had a busy couple of days in the Pratt household. My sister's wedding was on Saturday. It was an absolutely amazing day! Our day started at 9am with all the women getting our hair and make up done. Sophie even had her hair curled. It was a really relaxed morning of getting ready. When the photographers arrived we got my sister dressed and then headed over to my parents' house for some pictures.

The ceremony was beautiful. A few little glitches, including the ring bearer dropping the ring into the grass, but those are the things that make it memorable. We had the pictures done at Painted Rock vineyard. It was a beautiful setting and I can't wait to see the photos!

The reception was at my parents and everyone had a blast. The kids had so much fun running and playing together. Sophie lasted until 9pm! There was a lots of dancing and catching up with family and friends. It was great.

Will and I were both pretty exhausted on Sunday, as was Sophie. We decided to go to the waterslides in Osoyoss so that Sophie would have a little nap. What a fun day! Liam and Sophie both had a great time. Sophie talked the entire time she was so excited. It's a small waterpark, but the slides were a good speed for the kids. That night Will and I went for dinner to the Wild Scallion to celebrate our anniversary.

Yesterday was chemo day. The events of the weekend kept us busy enough that I didn't really worry too much leading up to it. I was pretty nervous yesterday morning though. We got our c/t scan results. The doctor said they were overall good. Not really much change. There was no spread (YAY!) but still the same number of liver spots (BOO!). The two biggest ones had diminished in size though. We know the chemo is working and as there was a 3+ week span between my last scan and the start of chemo,we are assuming that more progress was made then what we can see. There is no change to the treatment and we will rescan again in about 2 months.

I gained another pound! Slow and steady. The doctor said that the chemo is all based on weight so the more I weigh the more drugs I get. Bring on the fat!

I'm feeling so-so today. I went for a walk and had a nice nap this morning and we had a pretty relaxed afternoon. My husband is making me my new favourite food as we speak. Zucchini fritattas.  I'd never had them before but found a recipe yesterday that we modified slightly and oh my goodness they were good. I ended up eating the whole batch.

Hoping that I am feeling better tomorrow.

Well That Was Easy

So I had my ct scan this morning. As the day got closer, my nerves got worse. I tried really hard not to be anxious about it, but I was. It was suggested that I imagine it as a photograph, just a picture of that time,  as part of a longer journey. Whether the results are excellent, okay or not so good, that is just what they are that day. It doesn't mean they will be the same in a month or a year from now. Putting it into this perspective, seemed to help a fair bit.

Anyways, this morning came and I wimped out and took an Ativan to help me get through. We got to the waiting room and were greeted by the receptionist and tech who did my ct scan the first time. It brought back lots of memories and feelings. They are very nice though and they made me comfortable. The great news came that I could get the injection through my portacath and not an iv! YAY portacath! I wasn't actually all that nervous about the iv, but I really didn't want a bruise on my arm for the wedding. The scan itself was fine and we won't hear results until next week.

I feel a huge sense of relief that this is over. I don't know why I was so worked up about it. I know I will be very nervous Monday waiting for my doctor's appointment, but I am going to try not to think about it over the weekend.

Now the fun starts. Kristie's wedding is tomorrow!! Rehearsal starts in a couple of hours. I am so so so excited. We started the festivities by going to the spa yesterday afternoon, which was amazing. I also bought a nice dress that actually fits me to wear tonight. I haven't bought any clothes in smaller sizes because I just don't want to. I don't want to be this thin for long. I wasn't sure if I was going to buy a dress or just borrow one from my sister. I am really glad I did though. I feel great about myself in it.

If I could just get started on the speech I would be all set....

Just Another Week

I have been wanting to write a post for a few days now, but I just didn't know what to write about. This has been another great week, but nothing really interesting has happened. I guess that is a good thing!

The chemo treatment seemed to go well again (so thankful for this). I felt well again by Thursday and my "sick" days weren't too bad. I was just tired and had less energy than usual. I had a pretty good appetite all last week, so hopefully I'm still gaining a bit of weight.

The hardest part by far was the mental battle. It's frustrating to not have energy and feel like yourself and it's hard to listen to your body and take a rest. It's also hard having the fear in the back of your mind. I try really hard to just be grateful that I feel good and be thankful for each day, but it's hard to not be scared. There is no point in worrying because it won't do any good. I just really wish that someone could tell me in one year (or 2 or 3) that I would be cancer free. I can get through the treatments and do it all physically I just really wish I could know the outcome. But, no one knows what lies ahead for them, so I just need to accept that I don't know my future and continue living each day to the fullest.

The last few days have been fun summer days. We've spent lots of time just playing in the backyard and trying to stay in the shade. Sophie took me kayaking. She explained to me how to paddle and even gave me a demonstration. It was pretty cute. She wanted her and Liam to go by themselves, but somehow I didn't think that'd be a good idea.

This should be a fun but busy week for us. My sister is getting married on Saturday, so there is lots to do to get ready for that. Well, actually, all I'm doing is going to the spa for the afternoon:) We're taking the kids to see Sesame Street Live on Wednesday. I'm really looking forward to watching them dance and sing. Hopefully Liam does it butt shake/foot stomp dance. Also I have my ct on Friday. I'm sure I'll be a mess of nerves that day, even though I won't get my results until next week.

Anyways, I hope everyone reading this is doing well. I sure appreciate your continued prayers and well wishes.

And on we go

Today we started our 4th chemo treatment. When we walked in, we were asked "How are you doing today", our response, "Besides the fact that we're in oncology right now, we're great". Obviously if I could snap my fingers and get rid of the cancer I would, but I don't see this as a bad time in our lives. I am feeling so healthy and have so much energy. I am appreciating everything in my life much more than I did in the past. There is always that little bit of fear in the back of my mind, but most of the time it is far outweighed by happiness.

While we were in the waiting room, we were chatting with another couple, who we have seen during our previous treatments. The man asked me for how long I had been suffering. I really didn't understand the question and thought he meant how long after the chemo am I sick for. It wasn't until his wife clarified it, that I realized he wanted to know how long I had been having chemo treatments. It just made me so thankful for how well my body has been accepting the drugs. I definitely have not been suffering for the last 6 weeks. There have been a few bad days, but over all, especially the last 3 weeks or so, life has been great. I went for a hike with my dad a few days ago, and I think I surprised him that I could keep up.

 I was extremely nervous to find out my blood results. I tried to reason with myself that we'd had good results the last few times, it was the same chemo drugs, I am still eating the same good foods and doing my relaxations and going for walks and therefore that I should expect the same results again. It's hard to reason with yourself when you're scared though.

The doctor said that my blood results were continuing to improve. I still have one liver enzyme that is high, but it has lowered once again. He said this was all positive and that we should assume that when I get my ct scan late next week that we will see improvement. As soon as we left that appointment my stress significantly decreased.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. It's a long day of being in and out of the hospital though. Happy to be home now. Hopefully a couple days to rest and recover and make good use of Will being at home for a few days. We just got a dehydrator so I have a long list of things for him to make for me:)

Oh and I almost forgot. On the official scale I was up 1.25lbs!!

Going Up

The numbers on the scale are rising. According to our home scale I've gained 3 pounds since last week! It's not surprising based on the amount of food I've been eating, but it's obviously been awhile since my weight has gone up. I'm trying to balance eating tons of fruits and veggies but also eating lots of fat.
We have added lots of nuts and seeds to my diet and are not shy with adding oil to things. I have two big food discoveries for the week. I made a "sour cream" out of pine nuts and sunflower seeds, it was a really really good dip after I added dill to it. It definitely made eating raw veggies more appealing. The second was ground pine nuts on my "pasta" (spaghetti squash with sauce). It looked and had the same texture as parmesan cheese and added some good flavour.
Food has become such a big part of my life. It's something positive I can do for myself and it seems to be working. It takes a lot more time and effort to make fresh and home made food, but I am starting to enjoy doing it. Today was our veggie delivery day from Covert Farms. There was cabbage in it so I googled a recipe and just made myself a really yummy cabbage salad. I never would have thought to use cabbage before, it just sounds yucky, but I really enjoyed it.
That's enough about food. The rest of my week has been good, nothing really exciting to tell. We are enjoying the nice weather and the kids were finally able to play in the kiddie pool without freezing. My energy is still really high and I feel really good. Looking forward to a great weekend before starting chemo again on Monday.
Sophie is doing a bike race on Saturday. Her cousins, Leah and Olivia, are also in the race. It should be a great time. I won't be surprised if they manage to ride their run bikes holding hands. Or they might ditch the bikes and dance all the way to the finish line:)

Awake

I've been up since 5:30am. I didn't get up early because I have anywhere to go or because I wanted to enjoy the early hours of the day, but because our dear and darling children wake up at 5:30 (or 5:00) EVERYDAY. You are probably thinking what a nice wife I am, taking the morning shift so that Will can get extra sleep. He works hard during the day, he needs the extra rest. Or you might be thinking, seriously? That's not fair, Will should get up early, Melissa needs the rest. Well neither are true. Will has gotten up every morning with the kids for the past 2 months. At first, I was napping most days and really needed the extra hour or two of sleep to get through the day. Now, it has turned more into habit. Also, I read that sleep helps with healing and that to get better I need lots of rest. I am going with that reason, not because I like my sleep and am a little bit lazy.

Anyways, I keep saying that one day I will get up and let him have a "sleep in"...Sleep in, means 7am. But every morning when Liam starts crying or Sophie yells, I give him a nudge and go back to sleep. I decided that today was the day. Yesterday was my brother in law to be's stag party.

They left at noon and Will called me from outside at 1:30am because he was locked out. He went straight to sleep so I haven't heard any of the stories yet. I'm sure they had a great day though. I am so happy that Will was able to have a day with friends and no stress or responsibility. Also, I won't feel quite as guilty today leaving him with the kids while I go for a walk, out for lunch and maybe for a paddle board:)

Hopefully all of you had a great Canada Day yesterday. Ours was pretty low-key. We had pancakes and waffles for breakfast. In an attempt to make the whole family's diet healthier, Will switched the Aunt Jemima pancake mix for a healthy buckwheat mix (I had coconut flour waffles). As Sophie was eating them, she looked at us and said "These don't taste as good as last time. I like the other ones." It was pretty funny. After that we just played at home for the morning. We spent the afternoon with my mom and sister. I even made dinner for all of us. I honestly never thought I'd be cooking for them, it is usually the other way around.

I'm still feeling really well and am looking forward to this week. I'm going to try and eat lots and hopefully do a bit more exercise to get some muscles back.

Okay, I should probably go get some breakfast ready for these kids.

Bald

Well there goes my hair! It was slowly coming out and thinning, so on Wednesday Will shaved my head. I was surprised that I cried over this. It seems like such a dumb thing to be upset about. I was more emotional over this than I was about finding out I needed daily injections. I didn't even really like my hair to begin with.

Now that it's gone, it's not that bad. I was nervous to look in the mirror and I still get surprised sometimes when I see my reflection. In a strange way I feel stronger though. I feel like I've joined the army of people fighting and beating cancer all around the world.

I've got quite the collection of scarves, turbans and other head covers.I must say, I don't love them. I will obviously cover my head outside to protect it from the sun, but I have a feeling I will go bare more often than not when inside. Maybe I will grow to love my scarves, but right now it feels strange to wear them.

Other than my hair drama, this week has been really good. I didn't get to sick from the chemo, just tired. I was able to go out for dinner with some friends on Wednesday, which was so much fun. By Thursday, I felt back to normal again. Each round has been easier so far. I don't expect it to keep getting easier, but I sure hope it will stay like this.

Happy Canada Day weekend to everyone!

Just Another Day at Oncology

It hit me yesterday as I was walking with my iv cart to the washroom, how did this become normal? I shouldn't complain as the chemo is working and the side effects aren't that bad, but I am 29 years old, how in the heck has this become part of our lives. I'm hooked up to a bottle with a tube going into my chest and it doesn't bother Sophie at all. She wants to see it and kiss me on my owie and constantly asks what side she can't touch. A 3 year old should not be watching their mom get injections every day and asking to look at the bottle of medicine in the fanny pack.

Okay pity party over. The bright side is that the chemo IS working. 3 out of 4 of my liver enzymes are back in the normal range. The doc said that this would only happen if my liver was functioning properly. So those spots must be either shrinking or disappearing. My 4th enzyme (he told me which one, but I can't remember) is still high but is moving down. He was also very happy that even with the chemo I am feeling better than I have in ages. That is obviously a great sign. I will get a CT scan done after my next treatment. Looking forward to seeing how much progress we have made.

My weight also stayed the same. No weight gain in two weeks, but no weight loss either. I am holding steady at a whopping 123 lbs...As long as I am eating and have energy I can deal with the baggy clothes. My hair is still here too! It's short and gradually thinning,but I'm going to keep it for a bit longer.

I know I talk about food a lot, but some exciting things coming up. My sister made me some muffins with spelt flour and no sugar. What a treat to have a muffin again! We are also getting a dehydrator and Will is going to make some flax seed and sesame seed crackers....inspired from our trips to the raw vegan restaurants. Crackers with home made hummus:) I think we will also be able to make our yam and kale chips in it. Not to mention apple and banana chips and dried mango.

The plan for today is to sleep and eat and rest. Hopefully if I don't over do it I will be back to myself in a couple of days. Thanks again for all the prayers and thoughts. I know that all the positive energy is helping me get better.

The little things

This last week has been absolutely amazing. Nothing exciting has happened and there has been no big news. A few months ago, I would have taken this week for granted and not paid any attention to all the little things that make me happy.

I have my energy back. I have said it before, but having the "get up and go" is just so wonderful. I've been going for walks and got back out on the stand up paddle board. I've taken the kids out and about without someone else to help me. I've been cooking and cleaning. I've been being me.

Will worked full days this past week and I took care of the kids...just like how it used to be. I still had tons of help, as always, from the grandparents, but it was help that I wanted not needed. I was able to go to a friend's house for a playdate, come home and make lunch, do the nap time routine, get kids up from nap, play with them in the back yard....by myself. A week or two ago to attempt this, I would have had someone lined up to help with lunch and someone to come over as soon as the kids got up. It feels wonderful to be able to take care of myself and them again.

Those that know me well, know that I love food. I also have a big sweet tooth. With a bit of help from my sister, I mastered a crumble recipe this week. I made an apple one and one with rhubarb, apple and strawberries. They only have ingredients that I feel comfortable eating (fruit, quinoa flakes, coconut flour, coconut oil, cinnamon, nutmeg and a bit of stevia) and are sooo good. I have my appetite back and I am eating insane amounts of food. I'm sure it helps that we are getting better at making food that tastes good. Will made me some amazing coconut flour waffles the other day. YUMMY!! I even managed to make a really good ratatouille filled with lots of good veggies. I am eating nonstop these days, as I used to. The other day for lunch I ate a chicken breast with a tomato/veggie sauce, followed by a fried egg sandwich loaded with avocado, a banana, orange and two big bowls of rhubarb crumble.

I have also been completely blown away by what others have done and are doing for me. Each day I get multiple emails or messages from people telling me that they are thinking about me or praying for me. These mean so much. We are grateful for all the muffins, food, recipes and cards that we receive. A few local businesses have generously donated their services to us. I feel so loved and supported by everyone. I can't keep track of the number of prayer groups I have been added to. Thank you everyone, it is such a morale boost to know there are so many people behind me in this fight.

Will and I are in Squamish right now. We drove down to Vancouver yesterday for an appointment I had. It's been a great mini vacation so far. We found a raw vegan cafe in Hope to eat lunch in. If any of you go through Hope it's called Jungle Juice. I had a really good veggie sandwich on "bread" that was pretty much dehydrated seeds. The salads were also amazing. We had dinner at another really good healthy place called Organic Lives. The whole menu was vegan as well as gluten/refined sugar/soy and corn free. This morning Will went for a mountain bike ride and I went for a hike. The area is just beautiful and it felt so good to be out hiking.  I found a cafe here that also has lots of really good options for me. I am so excited that these types of places exist! I ate breakfast there, again soooo yummy and we will go back for lunch before driving home.

Tomorrow is round 3 of chemo. I need to get blood work done before hand, so please send me all you "good blood result" vibes and prayers. Once we get the results and they get the chemo started it is usually a pretty relaxed day...well for me anyways, the ativan does wonders:) 

Thanks again for thinking about me. 

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to all the dads and grandpas out there! I want to wish a very special day to three great father's in my life; my dad, my father-in law and my husband.

My dad is absolutely amazing. Since I was a little girl, we have enjoyed doing so many things together... hiking, skiing, scuba diving, bike riding, even yoga. He has always been happy and willing to do whatever I wanted to do. Growing up he was always available when I needed him. I can't count the number of times I have called him at work to do some type of favour for me. No matter how busy he was, he always did it. Since having kids, he has, not surprisingly, been a huge help. From the time that Sophie started eating solid foods, he has come over a few times a week to make her (and now her and Liam) dinner, feed and bathe them. I always look forward to this time as not only a break, but for a chance to have a visit. He has also, on multiple occasions, come over at 5 am and taken Sophie so that Will and I could sleep:) He is always a phone call away. I love you Dad and thank you for everything.

My father in law is an equally amazing man. Not only did he raise my husband to be who he is, but he is a great father-in law to me. I don't think there are that many women out there who can call up their father in law and ask them to go skiing or riding because I didn't want to go solo. He is always very patient, goes at my speed, and tries to give me tips on how to improve. He has also embraced the Grandpa role and is always available for grandparenting. Will and I can call him and ask him to watch the kids and regardless of what he had planned, he will be there. He is also a great photographer and thanks to him we have many albums, cds and videos filled with fantastic photos of everything from rock climbing to bbqs to Sophie and Liam playing. I am so lucky. Thanks Van!

Last, but not least, my husband. Sophie and Liam are so lucky to have Will as their daddy. From dance parties to playing catch, the kids always have so much fun with Will. Sophie has already figured out that she just has to say in a nice voice, "please daddy" and he will pretty much do anything for her. The smart little cookie that she is, has stopped asking me for things, and just goes straight to Daddy. Liam is a complete Daddy's boy. He just follows Will around constantly. If Will leaves the house without him, he gets so mad. When Will gets home from work and the kids run to the stairs and start giggling waiting for Daddy tickles, is one of the best parts of my day. He always puts the kids (and my) needs first, giving up bike rides to go to the park, or eating salmon every Monday because Sophie asked for it. When we got married, I knew he would be a great dad, but he has far exceeded what I imagined. I love you Will and thank you for being so great with our kids.

We are having a great day today. I'm sure I lost some wife points for staying in bed at 5:20 when Liam got up, but I think I earned them back when Sophie gave Will the father's day card her and Liam made. We took the kids to the park and then came home and played in the back yard. Will's out for a ride right now and then we are going out this afternoon to see friends, so it should be a good day.

On a medical note, I think the blood clot in my arm is gone. It's no longer swollen or painful. The injections aren't as bad as I thought. Will is quite good at giving them and Sophie has started taking part in the process. She holds my hand and sings me songs to distract me. I am still feeling fantastic. The last few days I have had  felt better and had more energy than I have in months. If the weather co-operates, Will and I are hoping to go for a bike ride tomorrow.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. Thanks again to everyone for keeping me in their thoughts and prayers.

Happy

Wow do I feel good! I can hardly believe it. I must have had the stomach flu the last chemo round, as this week I was hardly nauseous...well not entirely true, but the little anti-nausea pills worked and I felt fine the rest of the day.

For those not on my facebook, we chopped my hair off. Sophie and Will cut it short and then Will buzzed it. I will leave it like this until it needs to be completely shaven. I was really glad to get this part over with. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. It probably helps, that I don't really care about my hair. 99% of the time it was in a pony tail anyways. The worst part was sitting still while Sophie took the sharp scissors to my head. It was terrifying. We wanted a photo, so that meant that Will was out of reach. Luckily there were no injuries.

I was a bit tired Tuesday and Wednesday and had a couple of extra naps. By yesterday, I was bored, so my mom and I took the kids grocery shopping just for something to do. It sounds dumb, but being in Safeway, doing something productive and normal felt sooo good. I even managed to help out with the dishes a little bit at home this week. Today I just feel like me. Liam has learned how to climb onto the table, so I spent most of the morning chasing him around the house. There was no sitting on the couch like a blob:)

We had friends over for breakfast. Will attempted to make me coconut flour pancakes. I think the recipe was faulty...in any case, they tasted good and we had a nice visit. We then went to the pool and I actually got to go into the water this week! I was so proud of Sophie. She is getting to be a such a good little swimmer.

I've been getting the daily injections for my blood clot. The plan was that Will would do it, but I was a little bit hesitant about his needle giving skills. Luckily, my mother in law, who is also a nurse, was able to give them to me the first few days to ease me into it. Today I felt brave and let Will do it. He did a great job. The fact that he's done it and I know it's not that bad has removed a lot of stress from me. I still hate needles, but I am telling myself that it is 1 minute of discomfort for 24 hours of a great life. I am very thankful that we live in a place where medication like this is available to me.

I think I've rambled long enough. Thanks again to everyone for the messages, thoughts and prayers. A huge thanks to our families for all the help they are giving us. I don't know how we would be doing this without them.

Hope you all have a great weekend:)

Sunshine, Good News and Needles

So today was round #2of chemotherapy. I was much less nervous of the process and am not as worried about the side effects this time. However, I was really nervous that the blood work wouldn't be good.

Anyways, our marathon of a day started with blood work done at 8. After that Will and I went for a nice coffee and snack at the Bench. It was a beautiful morning to sit outside on the patio and enjoy the sunshine. We went for a little walk and had a really nice "date".

Back to the hospital we went. I was so excited to hear that my blood work was really good. My liver enzymes were a lot lower and the doctor seemed very happy about it. The fact that I am feeling better than I did before chemo and the fact that the blood work showed improvement is all very positive.

Despite my efforts to eat everything in site last week, my weight was down from 2 weeks ago. I think I must have lost a lot of weight during the first week of chemo and that I am on my way to gaining it back. I've picked up some healthy comfort food, so hopefully even if I lose my appetite this week I'll still be able to get enough calories in. It's very strange going your whole life trying not to gain weight and being happy when you lost a pound, to wanting to fit into your fat pants.

Oh and I almost forgot the exciting part. My arm has been bugging me for a few days. I didn't think much of it as I seem to get new and imaginary pains every day from the stress. But last night we noticed it was swollen. So we showed the doctor today, and he sent us for an ultrasound. Blood clot. No big deal, good thing they caught it. I was under the impression that a pill would fix this. But no, oh no. Because I'm on chemo, the regular drug doesn't work, so Will gets to give me a needle. Every day. In the scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. I just hate needles. But I really don't want to get a blood clot and this will prevent that, so daily needles here we go!

Overall, the day was good. I'm happy we got the good news about my blood work first. It made the blood clot news a little easier to digest. A few days of rest and fanny pack wearing lay ahead for me. Sophie's last swim lesson is on Friday, and parents are allowed in, so my goal is to go swimming with her on Friday.

Thanks for all the well wishes, energy and prayers.

A Reason to Celebrate

My sister is getting married and tonight is her shower! I could not be happier for her.

My sister in law Lesley is hosting it and it will be great to see a lot of friends and family.

A few weeks ago, when we got the first chemo appointment, the first thing my sister did was look at a calendar. She was very excited and said, "My shower and wedding fall at the end of your chemo cycle". At the time, I didn't really care and couldn't see why that mattered. Now I get it. I feel great today and am certain I will have fun tonight.

Another happy point is that my hair is still here:) The nurse guessed about 2 weeks until I would start noticing it thinning. I'm sure it will happen any day, but I am pretty excited that I get to blow dry my hair tonight.

The last week I have been trying very hard to be grateful for feeling well. I was very excited when I made the kids lunch and cleaned up the dishes. It has been very nice to feel like "Mommy" again, not just the lady who sits on the couch and reads stories. I know I will get used to the cycle of feeling crummy and then feeling good again, but it is still all so new.

Thank you to everyone who made us muffins! Our freezer is now stocked:)

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Eating Well

I must say that eating cooked food again is so much fun!! I know some people swear by the raw food diet, but I don't think it is something I could keep up. Over the last week I have really enjoyed what I have been eating.

I am going to try and start eating more beans and lentils. We really have no idea what to do with them, so if anyone has a good recipe that they wouldn't mind passing on I would appreciate it.

I've been (well Will has been), putting Kale in my morning smoothie. It doesn't make it taste bad, but it definitely alters it. I was quite excited when we discovered that we could add it to my daily wheat grass juice. Now I get the Kale and the yummy smoothie:)

We just signed up for a weekly delivery box from Covert Farms. I'm guessing a lot of the stuff is what we would buy anyways, but hopefully there will be some new-to-us veggies in there that we (Will) can learn how to cook.

The best part this week has been adding back in some carbs. Wild rice, quinoa and spelt bread. I have never really been a toast fan, but the first day I added back in the bread, I had 5 pieces. I gave my self one "go nuts" day and now I am limiting it again. YUMMY spread with coconut oil. OOOh and a piece of 85% dark chocolate at the end of the day. Tons of good antioxidants and a tinsy bit of sugar. Sounds good to me!

I have also decided that every once in a while a bite of something won't hurt. We were given some muffins from "The Bench" and I will admit I had a small, well okay maybe a medium, bite of one. It obviously wasn't "good" for me, but the enjoyment I got out of it was worth it.

Okay, well that was a really long post on food I'm eating. You probably didn't need to know all that.

Week One of Chemo

Well my first week of chemo is over! It definitely had it's ups and downs. It wasn't as bad as I had feared. I was still able to leave the house each day, even if it just meant sitting on my in-laws couch and watching the kids play.

That being said, it wasn't fun. I had one horrendous day of nausea and vomiting. Although, we had a big birthday party here a few days earlier and a lot of the kids and parents ended up getting the flu. Sophie also "chunked" the next morning, so I'm hoping I had the flu:)

The rest of the week was just slowing getting more energy. I've been walking every day. I must thank my mom here....I call her around 7, sometimes waking her up, and ten minutes later she is dressed and out the door. Some of our walks only lasted about 10 minutes, but I was able to work myself back up to 30-40 minutes yesterday. It is really disheartening being exhausted after walking for 5 minutes, but I figure it's better to do that than nothing.

Yesterday, I felt fine, but ended up sleeping most of the day. I think in hindsight, I had done a lot of resting, but not enough sleeping during the week. I was so worried about being stuck in bed by myself during chemo, that I forced myself to sit on the bench at the park, watch the swim lessons, sit in my parents yard while the kids played and just be there. Next round I will try and take some more naps.

I have also added some food back into my diet. I am very glad that I did almost of a month of pretty much all raw fruit and veggies, protein smoothies, nuts, etc. However, during last week I had a hard time eating anything. There was no way I was going to be able to eat a big salad full of spinach and greens. We've added quinoa, wild rice, yams and some bread (spelt and brown rice made by my sister).   I've started eating some farm fresh eggs and the occasional salmon. We have also bought some lentils and beans and just need to figure out how to cook them! I will still try and make sure that a big portion of my diet is veggies and fruit, and I am by no means going to start eating cookies, chips,  peanut butter m&ms or licorice or any kind of "junk". Still healthy real food, just more of a variety. I need to put some fat back on my bones and my body needs the energy to get through this.

We constantly have people asking us if we need anything, if you are one of those people (Mom, Maura, Kristie and Lesley I'm not talking to you), and would like to help out, we could use some healthyish muffins for the kids. We have a had a few people drop off batches already, but we seem to be running low again. Other than that please just keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

I think that's about it. I really appreciate the messages I get from people. It really makes my day.  It just amazes me how many people out there are thinking of me.

Here's to a good week full of energy!

Chemotherapy

I'm not going to lie, I have been ridiculously nervous for the past few days. We were anxious to start chemo and wanted to get it going as soon as possible. I, however, was dreading it.

This morning we went to the oncology clinic (in Penticton) and met with Dr. Caskey. He didn't have any new information to give us, but he answered some of our questions and told us what to look out for.

We then went to the chemo room. A year ago I would have fainted just walking into the room, with all the patients hooked up to ivs. I wasn't able to actually look at any of them, but I made it to my chair without too much of a fuss.

The first thing I was asked was if I wanted an ativan. Yes PLEASE! We had to wait for my chemo drugs to get mixed up, so our nurse taught us all about them and the side effects and how to handle them. She, like all the other nurses we've dealt with so far was amazing.

She put ice on my portacath to freeze it a bit, and when it was time to get my line started, it really didn't hurt at all. We had to sit there for about 2 hours as the drugs dripped in. Thanks to the ativan, I was able to snooze a little bit. The worst part of the whole experience was having to go to the bathroom multiple times with the iv stand. So awkward. I may drink less water next time.

Before we left she hooked me up with my "baby bottle" that will continue to pump for the next 2 days. There's some tubing and the bottle, all hid very discreetly in a nice fanny pack.

I've got a schedule of anti nausea pills to take, so hopefully that won't be much of an issue. Now we just get through the next couple of days and see what kind of side effects I'll notice.

I'm feeling a huge sense of relief right now. BYE BYE CANCER CELLS!!!

Post-Op

We've had a busy, but fun week. Our little princess turned three, so we had a great time celebrating with our family. We had some friends in from out of town and had a great time visiting with them.  Mr. Liam is constant trouble and entertainment for us. His dance moves are getting better by the day.

Yesterday was my portacath surgery day. We managed to get some VIP treatment. I made such a big deal when I checked in about being scared of needles that they gave me an ativan and a bed to lie in. So Will and I got to wait in a room, while I snoozed, instead of the busy waiting room. They also let Will come with me to the OR holding area, and were nice enough to get the iv going before he had to leave. Going into the OR is not something I will forget soon, it's quite intimidating in there, with all the people and lights. The Dr. was great and put some country music on for me and before I knew it I was in a recovery area talking to a nurse. We are able to go home shortly after. I feel pretty good today. Just stiff in the area where the device was implanted.  Will said he would refrain from any jokes about me getting an implant in my chest area.

I'm trying not to move my left arm in too big of motions for a few days.  I have a couple days to heal up and have some fun, and then chemo starts Monday morning. We're hoping to take the kids to the children's festival this weekend. We're also celebrating Sophie's birthday again with a bunch of kids from her baby group. So hopefully we have some good weather and everything goes smoothly.

Thank you again for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Let's get this fight started!!

I apologize for not updating this last night. I know a lot of you were thinking of me yesterday afternoon. The appointment took longer than expected (as appointments always do), and after we got home and got the kids to bed, Will and I, were just too exhausted.

We met with our Oncologist. He didn't really tell us anything we didn't already know. I have colon cancer that has spread to my liver. Although we knew this already, it was still hard to hear. He explained the course of chemo that I'm going to go through and all the possible side affects.

I am starting chemo on Monday, May 28. Due to the date of my port-a-cath surgery, it wasn't possible to start next week. So basically, I will go in, get a dose of chemo for a couple of hours, then I get to go home. I will need to wear a baby bottle type device that will slowly drip the rest of the chemo into me over 48 hours. I was advised to keep it in a fanny pack. I am going to be pretty styling this summer....I wonder if I still have a neon fanny pack? I will do this every 2 weeks for the next six months.

We are feeling really optimistic and happy that there is a plan in place. We are continuing 100% with my alkaline diet. We are also exploring some alternative medicines to compliment my chemo.

We have been overwhelmed with all of the offers of help. Right now all we need is your continued thoughts and prayers.

We have a busy weekend ahead. A couple out of town friends we haven't seen in ages will be coming by, and on Sunday we are having a family birthday party for Sophie. Sophie has requested that all the girls wear dresses, and that we have party hats. It is sure to be lots of fun!

Thanks again for all your support.

Upcoming Appointments

We have had a great few days. Sophie and Liam got a new sandbox, which they are absolutely loving. Sophie had a great time at her race. It was only 30 minutes, but my little girl gave it her all the whole time. Well, except when she saw Uncle Jonny and stopped for some water and a rest:)

We didn't celebrate Mother's Day this year. I figured I would bawl the whole time. Will is already doing everything for me and Sophie is constantly making me cards and giving me kisses, so I'm not sure what else we could have done.

We got an appointment today with an Oncologist in Kelowna. Will and I did a happy dance, which is really odd that we are excited to see an oncologist. Anyways, the appointment is for Thursday. I also have an appointment for a CT scan tomorrow. Hopefully after these appointments we will know a little bit more and have a plan of action.

I have completely changed my diet. I have cut out all processed foods, all sugars (except in fruits and veggies), and all carbs. I have added in a bazillion veggies, smoothies made with orgnaic whey powder and wheat grass, healthy oils and nuts and multivitamins. It's been much easier than I thought it would be to cut out sugar. I have to thank Will for having everything cut up and prepared for me so all I have to do is eat it. Also my amazing sister, who managed to make some decent tasting muffins, by using ground whole almonds and other foods off my list.

I guess that's all we know for now. I'll let you know what the Oncologist says.

Thanks again for the ongoing support, love and prayers.

Thanks!

I'd like to thank all of you for the messages that you've sent to me and my family. It really means a lot to us that there are so many people praying and sending positive thoughts are way. If we don't respond to your message please don't take it personally, and if you'd like to send us another message in a few days to let us know you are still thinking of us, please do.

As far as the medical stuff goes... The pathology report from my biopsy came back. It is colon cancer, as they assumed. The good news is, it is what they thought, not worse. All of my info has been sent to the Oncology Clinic in Kelowna and now I just need to wait for an appointment. My doctor said it could take a couple of weeks, but that he would keep calling and try to make it as soon as possible. After I have the appointment, the chemo should start fairly quickly. I can do the chemo in Penticton.

In order to do the chemo, I need to have an outside line. Some people that have chemo don't need this, I'm not sure why I do, but I do. So on May 23, I am going to have a port-a-cath inserted just below or above my colloarbone. If you are interested you can google more about it. Basically, it will be a catheter connected to the port, that they can put the chemo into or take blood out of. No more needles!! YAY!! I'll need a surgery to have it inserted, but will be able to come home the same day. I am hoping for some really really good drugs for this one:)

If we have the opportunity to start chemo sooner, we still will, and they will just use an IV through my arm until the port-a-cath is inserted.

On a less medical side, I had to wean Liam from nursing. I probably could have kept at it another week or two, but decided it would be easier to do it now, while life is still somewhat normal. He put up a bit of a fight, but he is a champ, and I think has almost forgotten about his beloved boobies.

Also, I have been convinced to cut out sugar and try to make my body less acidic. Apparently the more acid that is in your body, the easier the cancer can grow. So while we are waiting for the chemo to start, we are going to make my body as uninviting as we possibly can for the cancer cells.

The last two days have been obviously very difficult as we are still wrapping our head around this, but they've been a lot of fun too. We had a great time at the petting zoo today. The kids loved feeding the animals, especially the baby lamb the bottle of milk. Will bought Sophie a kite, which she is getting quite good at, and we have spent a lot of time just enjoying each other.

We're not expecting to hear anything over the next couple of days, so we will just try our best to have a great weekend. Sophie has her first bike race of the season in Salmon Arm on Sunday. She is doing the lil pup version of the Salty Dog. If any of you are at the race, come cheer for our little Sophers!!

Thanks again for all your love and support. It means a lot.